Hopefully you are using EhP 3 or above which is the pre-req.
The documentation is in the link:
(Enterprise Bus fns
>logistics>pp-->XSteps for Routing and Production Order).
I hope you found the answer but this problem is the basic one. If you did not find the Xtseps in the Recipe it is the business function activation problem but even after that you did not see the Xtsteps icon in the process order then it is a GUI status problem which can be fixed very easily by going into the gui status via program and just activating it. In fact every client you build you will have to do it.
This is what you have to do.
Go to transaction COR2 put in some order number and get onto the header screen of COR2. From there go to System --> Status in the status popo up screen you will see GUI Status VVKOPF. Double click on VVKOPF, this will take you to the display status VVKOPF Interface SAPLCO40 screen. On this screen open up the application tool bar. This is where you will have to activateit.
May be following document is help to you to understand X-Steps