on 05-02-2008 10:16 PM
The way you feel in the office with Project Manager/Project Lead:
(When you join the project) -
"Please don't hesitate to come to me any time for any technical or domain help"
-
(When you go to him for help) -
"You can find it out man.... Can't you?
Search in the books, and try to find it out yourself."
-
(When you 'try to find it out yourself') -
"You can't waste time like this. You should've come to me for help. We have to deliver ..Come to my place"
-
(When you go to him for help, again) -
"Don't make any changes in the code now. Come up with a document for impact analysis by lunch"
-
(When you go to him Just before lunch) -
"So, what have you done since morning? This document? Shall we deliver this? How many lines of coding did you do?............. See, this is not the way we should work"
-
(When you go to him 1 hr after lunch, with a small amount of coding -that's all what's necessary) -
"Only this much of coding since morning!!!" (Probably, you could've added the lyrics of a Hindi song in your code to make it look healthy).
"Change here, .......... change there, ............. Add here,................ Modify there . Do it NOW"
-
(When you go to him with the changes suggested by him) -
"Who asked you to do these? Everything's wrong here. See, this is not the way we should work..............."
-
(Every 10 minutes) -
"So? What's the status?????
Enjoy .....
Amit
(Unassociated Press) Thousands of the SAP (r) ERP rollout projects were paralyzed on Friday, 13th due to the SCN shutdown. The gurus scrambled to find the step-by-step guides with the screenshots and answers to their doubts on other websites. 115 SAP employees were unable to post the valuable KPI blogs.
Financial loss is estimated at approximately 1.5 billion $CN points.
However, this turned out to be a windfall for the websites like Google and support.sap.com which saw the massive increase in traffic and "explain to me SAP in detail" queries.
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SCN discussion life cycle:
1. Ask a question
2. Get a good suggestion
3. Get a poor suggestion
4. Ignore the good suggestion and continue conversation only with the person giving a poor suggestion
5. Ignore other SCN members who point out you should listen to the other person
6. Respond "this is still not working, someone guide me pls"
7. Respond "any help?" two more times
(optional) 8. Close the discussion as "assumed answered" with a note "solved myself".
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So, it's Friday again! Since HR won't stop harassing us about taking the stupid eLearning about office safety and other nonsense I have to get on with this mind numbing activity.
At least there is some light entertainment - apparently that's how modern day "typical workstation" looks like according to our HR:
Our company is not super advanced, but I don't think even we have a single desktop PC left, much less a CRT monitor. Although that lady's expression is exactly what I look like doing the eLearning. Only my eyes are rolling even farther back.
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Looking for inputs - Should we restart this?
Or are there any more interesting ones to follow on Fridays?
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Asked my husband to get two tomato plants of "Better Bush" variety from a store. (It works very well in the containers, btw.) 15 minutes later I get a call from him that "Peter Bush" tomatoes are nowhere to be found.
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One afternoon a wealthy manager was driving in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?
We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.
Bring them along, the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, You also come with us.
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me.
Bring them all, as well, the manager answered. They all entered the car, which was not an easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to Mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!
Lesson: Never trust managers....there is nothing like 'kind manager'...all are professional.
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Jack and Max are walking to the church for the Sunday prayer.
Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I smoke while I pray?”
The Priest replies, “No, my son, you may not! That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.
And Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I pray while I smoke?”
To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to.
Moral of the story: The chances of getting approval depends on the way u ask for it!
Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon Player was dying of AIDS which he got due to Infected Blood he received during a Heart Surgery in 1983.
He received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why did God have to select you for such a bad disease?"
To this Arthur Ashe replied:
50 Million children started playing Tennis, 5 Million learned to play Tennis, 5 Lakhs learned Professional Tennis,50 Thousand came to Circuit, 5 Thousand reached Grand slam, 50 reached Wimbledon, 4 reached the Semifinals, 2 reached the Finals
and when I was holding the cup in my hand, I never asked God "Why Me?"
So now in Pain how can I ask God "Why Me?"
Happiness keeps you Sweet
Trials keep you Strong
Sorrows keep you Human
Failures keep you Humble
Success keeps you Glowing
But only faith keeps you Going
Sometimes you are not satisfied with your life, while many people in this world are dreaming of living your life.
A famous writer was in his study room. He picked up his pen and started writing:
Last year, I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed. I had to stay stuck to the bed due to this surgery for a long time.
The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my favorite job. I had spent 30 years of my life in this publishing company.
The same year I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.
And in the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in bed at hospital with the cast on for several days. The destruction of car was another loss.
At the end he wrote: Alas! It was such bad year!!
When the writer's wife entered the room, she found he husband looking sad lost in his thoughts. From behind his back she read what was written on the paper. She left the room silently and came back with another paper and placed it on side of her husband's writing. When the writer saw this paper, he found this written on it:
Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder due to which I had spent years in pain.
I turned 60 with sound health and got retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write something better with more focus and peace.
The same year my father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone or without any critical condition met his Creator.
The same year, God blessed my son with a new life. My car was destroyed but my son stayed alive without getting any disability.
At the end she wrote: This year was an immense blessing of God and it passed well!!
Moral : In daily lives we must see that its not happiness that makes us grateful but gratefulness that makes us happy.
The Famous time of the Year just went by when we are force to make resolutions and once again proving that we consultants are bunch of forced liars only
This year I made 2 resolutions -
1. Make a handful of people believe I'm normal before blindsiding them with my actual old personality.
2. To catch up on my resolutions for 2O14, 2O13, and 2O12 and .......!
Cheers & Happy New Year!!
P.S - Do post your resolutions if you dare to made any!!
This poem is written by Zeb Edington. I read this somewhere the other day and find it beautiful to share.
I'm writing this to you
Telling you we're through
I can't take you anymore
Don't know what I liked you for
All you did was wear me out
Now I know what you're all about
You came to me with promise and joy
Now look at all the things you destroy
Families, lives, bank accounts you see
You ruined it all with one little tease
Look at the way you make me feel
Then you take it all and want me to steal
Why can't you just go and hide
Somewhere far away where I'll never find
Everyone at home doesn't understand
How you rip me apart, then lend me a hand
I keep coming back thinking inside
Maybe this time I'll make you my bride
Then I sit and wonder why
Why do you really want me to die
Thousands and thousands come to you
Hoping and praying you'll help them through
Then they fall for your lending hand
Only to realize you're nothing but a scam
You promised me heaven and sent me to hell
You ruined my life and then wished me well
Watch me now as I go on my way
I'm washing myself of all of your pain
So you and your power can just leave me be
I'm taking my life and setting it free
Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/dear-addiction-2#ixzz3P0j6Rm8W
Cheers!!
The joke about SAP has always been, it's making '50s German manufacturing methodology, implemented in 1960s software technology, delivered to 1970-style manufacturing organizations, like, it's really - yeah, the incumbency - they are still the lingering hangover from the dot-com crash.
Arguing with your wife is like killing the mosquito on your cheek you might or might not kill it, but you'll still end up slapping yourself!
A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes:
Wife: Is that Bret Lee
Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.
Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.
Husband: He does not have an actor brother
Wife: What about Bruce Lee
Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian
Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.
Husband: No. It is called action replay.
Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta
Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter.
Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It’s a free hit.
Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a ‘ free’ hit?
Wife: Now whom is he saying ‘HI’ to?
Husband: He is signalling a ‘Bye’.
Wife: Why is he saying ‘Bye’. Is the game over?
Wife: How many runs to win?
Husband: 72 in 36 balls
Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball
Husband turns off the TV.
Wife turns it on and watches ‘Saraswasti Chandra’
Husband: Who is this Saraswati Cahndra?
Wife: Don’t you dare disturb me . . .!!
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HI Gurus/Experts,
What is weekend?
How to program it?
can you send me the code
This issue is really urgent and i need answer only from gurus/Experts.
Vj.
ps: oops i forget to use
have a Nice weekend guys
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>
> hehehehe, have you heard of - "The sun never set on the British empire, because God does not trust an Englishman in the dark"
>
Coffee over keyboard moment there. 😄
I've heard it said that the Swiss (in whose country I live), find the British a peculiar people, because we had an empire, and don't feel guilty about it, and then lost it, and don't feel ashamed.
>
> Coffee over keyboard moment there. 😄
>
> I've heard it said that the Swiss (in whose country I live), find the British a peculiar people, because we had an empire, and don't feel guilty about it, and then lost it, and don't feel ashamed.
LOL... brightened my day after returning to my work-station from the loooooong weekend
Thankfully too early to have coffee for a C-O-K moment.
pk
An joke on work of Indian police..
A american , russian , indian police officers met in one conference.
First American Police said very proudly : 'In our country we found the victim in murder case in within 48 hours'
Next Russian said : ' For us its 24 hours enough'.
But the famous indian Police very smoothly
' Ha Ha Ha...For us before 24 hours only we know who is going to murder & who is getting murdered'.
Regards
Sas
Happy week End Friends..
Ps: This is just for fun.
Sas,
First American Police said very proudly : 'In our country we found the victim in murder case in within 48 hours'
Next Russian said : ' For us its 24 hours enough'.
OK I agree with you.
But only when either of police can investigate who actually got SLAP?
I Below leaving up one crime for them to get invetigate ,is below-->>
An ugly fat woman, a gorgeous young hot blonde, an American man and a Canadian man are all riding together in a train car.
As the train passes through a tunnel, the distinctive sound of a loud slap is heard.
When they emerge from the tunnel, a bright red handprint is on the face of the American.
The fat woman thinks "that dirty American grabbed that blonde in the tunnel and she slapped him!"
The blonde thinks "that dirty American must have tried to grab me, but grabbed the fatso by mistake and she slapped him!"
The American thinks "that Canadian bastard felt up that blonde and she slapped me by mistake!"
The Canadian thinks "I canu2019t wait u2019til we go through another tunnel so I can slap that stupid American again!"
I can expect the cluprit with ehough evedence within 48 Hrs from American and 24 Hrs from Russian.
Cheers
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Oh man, I would be in so much trouble in North Korea:
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The Bear Hunt... Or: "I’ll sell it; You deliver it…"
A Partner in a large consulting firm and a more junior colleague decide to go on a weekend trip hunting bears.
They arrive at their small log cabin set in a clearing deep in the forest. The Junior Consultant starts to prepare a simple meal for them in the kitchen and begins to set up the range of equipment he has brought along for the bear hunt.
The Partner drops his bags and immediately disappears out the front door of the cabin; he is gone for about an hour.
Suddenly, the Partner comes running at full speed out of the trees, back across clearing and straight in through the front door of the cabin, with a huge grizzly bear just a few paces behind him.
As he disappears out the back door he yells over his shoulder at the Consultant"OK, You skin this Beauty, I’ll go get us another!"
#copied.
Cheers!!
Friday
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Genius HAHA
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#FirstDayOfVacation
Good friday and excellent weekend for all
Raphael Pacheco
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Watched 'Big Hero 6' with my kid and couldn't help but think - doesn't Alistair Krei look just like SAP's Bjoern Goerke ? Was half-expecting HANA / Cloud / IoT mentioned at some point. (Good movie, by the way.)
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This is from the Series Office Space .. Just find it worth sharing..
Peter Gibbons: “So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”
Dr. Swanson: “What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?”
Peter Gibbons: “Yeah.”
Dr. Swanson: “Wow, that’s messed up.”
Cheers!!
Three little boys are plunging around in a swimming pool at one of their houses. After a while they start playing with their willies and comparing them.
Says the little boy who lives there: "Don't let my mom catch us doing this! She said that she would chop mine off if she sees me doing this and that it would hurt like hell".
Second little boy dismisses the claim: "Nahh, that is not true! She is just trying to scare you".
The third little boy: "It is true! It happen to my sister and actually looks quite cool"
Some light Enjoyment -
Hitler implements SAP (the real reason for the 3rd Reich's downfall) - YouTube
A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he laid the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away." "What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!" With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador retriever. The Retriever went right to work, sniffing and prodding, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said, "Bark".
The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, which also checked out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow." He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room. The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog's owner went berserk. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!"
The vet shook his head sadly and explained. "If you had taken my word for it, it would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan....
Cheers!!
Man, good afternoon!
I am in a implementation but I am testing orders an notes PM but I had notice that the disconnection button that was used to end the connection between the order and note PM got lost.
Do you know if that SAP 6.07 for the last pack took`s it off or it`s a bug on the version and have a SAP note to correct this?
TKS
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Did you use the search term "and" to find this discussion and it's similarity to your question?
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Murphy's Law for Friday -
Cheers!!
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Happy Friday to all!!
Live long and prosper!
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Dilbert's Words of Wisdom
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
7. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
8. I don't suffer from stress - I'm a carrier...
9. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo...
10. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Cheers!!
1. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.
Cheers!!
Crash Course in Management Speak | |
Says: | Means: |
That's very interesting. | I disagree. |
I don't disagree. | I disagree. |
I don't totally disagree with you. | You may be right, but I don't care. |
You have to show some flexibility. | You have to do it whether you want to or not. |
We have an opportunity. | You have a problem. |
You obviously put a lot of work into this. | This is awful. |
In a perfect world. | Just get it working and get it out the door. |
Help me to understand. | I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either. |
You just don't understand our business. | We don't understand our business. |
You need to see the big picture. | My boss thinks it's a good idea. |
here are Two Golden Rules in Project Management:
1. Never tell anyone all you know
[pause] … and that’s it!!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Light bulbs…
How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends – “How large is your budget?”
Cheers!!
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Hahaha nice one
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TGIF! Have a great weekend!
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This one is funny and is updated once a week with a joke which people can look forward to on Friday afternoons.
The jabber thread "Guys..." from earlier in the week was not funny and was (designed and titled to be) a constant stream of mindless noise which 5 people participate in.
That is the difference.
Cheers,
Julius
10 Rules for a Cool Life
1. Money is not everything... There are Master and Visa cards.
2. One should love animals... They are tasty too.
3. Save water... Drink on the rocks.
4. Fruits/Salads are healty... So leave it for sick.
5. Books are holy... So don't touch them.
6. Don't shout in the class... It disturbs those who are sleeping.
7. Love the neighbor... But don't get Caught.
8. Hard work never killed anyone but... Why take the chance.
9. Why do something today... When it can be done tomorrow by Someone else.
and Now Very Important rule .....
10. Every one should marry because... happiness is not the only thing in life.
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Okay...so not able to post anything since last 2 weeks as I was on leave...
Updating it on Monday this time to cover last 2 Fridays ...
Starting Monday with this song -
Happy Taxation(Some Quote - unquote) -
"The government is really asking a lot of us this month -- first we're supposed to count how many people live in our home -- then we're supposed to count how much money we owe them. I actually got confused and accidentally sent a check to the census and a member of my household to the IRS. Sorry grandma." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands." –Jimmy Kimmel
Happy Filing!!
Funny facts of life...
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife....
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men – but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes – there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change & she does.
8. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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